This is an experiment in short-form content on LW2.0. I'll be using the comment section of this post as a repository of short, sometimes-half-baked posts that either:
- don't feel ready to be written up as a full post
- I think the process of writing them up might make them worse (i.e. longer than they need to be)
I ask people not to create top-level comments here, but feel free to reply to comments like you would a FB post.
I’ve noticed myself using “I’m curious” as a softening phrase without actually feeling “curious”. In the past 2 weeks I’ve been trying to purge that from my vocabulary. It often feels like I'm cheating, trying to pretend like I'm being a friend when actually I'm trying to get someone to do something. (Usually this is a person I'm working with it and it's not quite adversarial, we're on the same team, but it feels like it degrades the signal of true open curiosity)
I went through something similar with phrases like "I'm curious if you'd be willing to help me move." While I really meant "I hope that you'll help me move."
My personal experience was that shifting this hope/expectation toba real sense of curiosity "Hmm, Does this person want to help me move?" Made it more pleasant for both of us. I became genuinely curious about their answer, and there was less pressure both internally and externally.